Practical Criticism

Our practical criticism supervisor tells us sometimes it's best not to have any contextual information about a poem when we first read it so that we start with no pre-conceived ideas. However, for the following poem, my readership may wish to know that 'Belinda' (real name changed to protect the not-so-innocent) is 'allegedly' a fellow-student, who often criticises Simone's essays.... she is also very pale and we have started to wonder if she really exists, as it has suddenly struck us both that nobody has ever acknowledged her existence in our presence. What we have created here is an 'ironnet': a new form of sonnet embracing irony at its core:

The Belinda Conspiracy or The Non-Existent Critic

In the blink of an eye, you are gone, Belinda
In the blink of an eye, you are gone.
Too pale to discover you're created as 'other'
With a plait in your hair and your sighs of despair,
With your Renaissance song, you are gone.
Do you really exist? Did you really get pissed?
Where were you September the fifth?
With your face as white as a moon-lit night
Don't you ever just wonder 'what if'?
In the blink of an eye you are gone, Belinda
With your literary insights and your critical bitch fights
One blink of an eye and you're gone.
It really won't be long, Belinda...
One blink of an eye - so long.