Back on the Chain Gang (ooh, aah!)

The recruitment agency finally sent me for an interview. It has been a frustrating few weeks, registering with an agency for a specific (and, I must say, rather shite) job which for which I was subsequently rejected due to being over-qualified. Undeterred by this ruling, my rep then proceeded to put me forward for a series of increasingly shitty jobs, culminating with an offer of work "doing customer service for the caaaancil", which meant taking telephone enquiries about such fascinating topics as rubbish collections etc. Despite the fact that this is obviously a fulfilling and worthwhile career choice, I'm afraid I snapped, and promptly fired off one my infamously snotty emails. The Foreign Office taught me well.

I was then put forward once again for the original job and this time I made it to the interview stage!!!

The most memorable part of the interview went something like this:

Her: As you know, our offices will be relocating at the end of the year. Morale is rather low. Can you suggest any group activities we could do to boost team morale?

Me: Yes, you can all pretend to kill each other!!

This was met with a stunned silence by my two interviewers, who simply stared at me, open-mouthed. I felt further explanation was necessary, as they were obviously not able to see beyond my simple suggestion to the complex workings of the activity I had in mind...

Me: You see, it's a game, called Assassins. Everyone is given a target in the company, who they have to kill, and everyone is therefore both a potential assassin and target at the same time!!

More stunned silence, accompanied by obvious signs of agitation... I pursue, digging myself deeper..

Me: You see, you all PRETEND - that's right, PRETEND - to kill each other with plastic knives, water pistols .. oh! and pieces of string with which you can garrotte each other!

I sit back, rather pleased with myself, only to be met with disconcerted looks from my two interviewers. They look at each other, eyebrows raised. I suddenly realise, with a slight amount of horror, that I have used the word "garrotte" in a job interview.

Her: Well, we have another person to interview at 12, so we'll get back to you through the agency.

I come home rather deflated. Jamie asks how the interview went. "Well", I explain, "I think I inadvertantly suggested they all kill each other in an attempt to improve morale...".