Beware the perils of drunking text-messaging

This here is my friend, Mad Irish Julie (wearing a very fetching string vest and thongs that she won during a game of pass the parcel at my birthday party in Switzerland).

I received text messages from her last night, which I feel honour-bound to publish so that we can all learn a valuable lesson from Julie's mistakes.

First message reads:

"Evil twin made me drink wine, dance on stage at gay club and text ex-boss, who hasn't come out to me, to ask him to marry gay friend Barry! Sent beautiful description of Barry to him. Bad, bad evil twin!"

Second message contains the text that she sent to afore-mentioned ex-boss (who, it transpired, had an interview the next day, which probably made him all the more grateful for Julie's 1.15 am text message):

"Good luck in interview! Now, stop reading if I'm speaking out of turn! But think you should marry my friend Barry. He's a sweetheart and kind, funny and smart. Aware sending text from George prob not best guide to sobriety but I've always thought it. So can I give you his no? And would you meet him? Ok, he's phd in development, has worked in Latin America and has fluent Spanish. He's lovely, funny and great. Did this cross line?!"a' "

Hurrah for Julie! She is SO cut out for a career in the Diplomatic Service. And living proof that impending home-0wnership, mortgage etc does not mean that there is any need whatsoever to grow up! Julie, I know you're suffering from ILA right now, but this will all soon be a dim and distant memory, that you will smile at - just like the cough mixture dinner party in Berne!