Blogger's Block

It's that time of year. My head is becoming crammed full of tragedy, Chaucer and all things to do with the Novel, and I can think of nothing to put on this little blog of mine. You see, I'm not really doing anything except reading and (rarely) running - hardly great blog fodder. Maybe I should revert to tales from yesteryear, like the time I got kicked out of a very expensive restaurant in London for pretending I worked in the cloak room (I have a warped sense of fun when drunk - I was having a whale of a time and thought I was actually being quite helpful, what with giving out tickets and hanging up people's coats, but the management of the restaurant didn't concur).

I'm not only out of ideas and inspiration but I'm having difficulty remembering words. For example, I've been sat here for hours trying to remember the word 'monopoly' (as in having the monopoly on certain emotions). It has taken the best part of an afternoon and evening to come back to me. And now that I have remembered it, I'm not quite sure how (or indeed, if ) I want to use it. I suppose I'd better, seeing as it took me so long to recollect the damn word. Maybe I'll get it into an argument tomorrow. Argument, anyone? Or should I just play a game of monopoly - would that count? I'd really like £200 for passing go right now, as I am completely broke, and it's definitely time to start expanding my property portfolio... Game of Monopoly, anyone?

Or should I just tell you all about the time I got my handbag stolen in Berne whilst dancing in a water fountain in my underwear? Or about why a certain Embassy bar is now banned from serving Black Russians? Or about the time I pretended to be a nurse and dispensed valuable medical advice when someone fell off a car roof outside a club in Geneva? Or about the time I actually went to a gay bar dressed as a nurse and was a great hit with the lesbians? Or - and this might be far more interesting - shall I just start making stuff up? Mixing the truth with lies, so that you never quite know what happened and what didn't?

Or shall I just fuck off? Maybe I'll just fuck off...