Horse-Tastic!

I work in a lovely building surrounded by a working farm, and paddock after paddock of contented horses. Horses of all shapes, sizes and shades. I swear that some of them think I played a personal role in their rescue, as they look at me lovingly whilst contentedly munching on grass as I walk past. Some of them trot over to say hello, holding their heads high, snorting softly, letting their mains billow in the autumnal breeze. Thankfully, most of them have learned to apply the breaks or start to back-peddle before they reach the electric fence...

The horses aren't the only ones to have gone through adversity to reach the place, though, believe you me - for my journey to work proved to be Fraught With Danger! First, I had to cross the A140 - no easy task at 8 am, let me tell you! Trucks were trying to hit me. Then I had to drive through windy country roads, dodging suicidal pigeons and pheasants who kept threatening to run under the wheels of my car (it's like playing a computer game, Splat the Wildlife or some such like). There is a Weak Bridge (there's a sign that says so, so it must be true! How weak, I wonder? Weak enough to buckle under the weight of my car?). And to top it all off, a particularly large sugar beet fell from the trailer of a tractor and landed with a very loud thump on the roof of my car. It may have left a dent (I've been too lazy as yet to check). It is a perilous journey! Now I know how Sir Gawain felt (except, of course, I have no sex-mad trollop attempting to seduce me while my host is out hunting, and I'm also hoping I won't have to allow a Green Knight to chop my head off at some stage of my journey).* This sort of thing never used to happen when I used to commute in London, although there was always the danger of Leaves on the Track, and also flashers.

James is now a fully-accomplished house husband. I get tea in bed in the morning, then he makes my breakfast while I am in the shower, and makes my packed lunch while I am eating my breakfast and making yummy noises. He runs to the front door when I return home from my Perilous Journey in the evening, gives me a big welcoming cuddle and ushers me indoors to await my dinner. See, he may be really mean to everyone else in the world, but he adores me. For I am The Chosen One. What a lucky lady, eh?

Now I must leave you all, for I am weary.

* For those of you who haven't read the medieval text, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, do not worry, for it was a crap analogy anyway.