SOS

Please, if anyone is reading this - help me. My name is Lauri, I am a peace-loving Finn and I have been kidnapped and held captive by a mentalist English woman. She keeps making me drink too much and is torturing me by talking incessantly and forcing me to make cups of tea against my will. I really can't go on like this but am afraid of the consequences if I am caught trying to escape. Please help me - I'll make it worth your while, really I will. You are my last hope. All I want is my old life back, a bit of peace and quiet and a brief stint in a Betty Ford Clinic. Please.