The Little Boat of Happiness

It has been a long and arduous journey for the Little Boat of Happiness, and it is a journey that continues through the years, through seas calm and rough. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

The Little Boat of Happiness, you see, first set sail in the early 1990s, in the form of a poem to my sister and the man who is now her husband and the father of her children. In those days, their love was young and fresh, like a cherry tomato. And I was living in Switzerland. Why I chose to send them a poem about a boat of happiness from a landlocked country remains a mystery. I wasn't too bright in those days and hadn't yet reaped the intellectual (and, as you'll see, artistic) benefits of a Cambridge education. The poem started something like this: "If I had a little boat/I know what I would do./ I'd fill it up with happiness/and sail it home to you" and then carried on in much the same manner for a few more verses. And this is how my brother-in-law and I first started our exchange of Little Boat of Happiness Poems. He once sent me a reply that went something like this:

And when your boat of happiness
Comes sailing into view
I'll run down to the harbour
and this is what I'll do

Your packages of happiness
I'll unload one by one
And when the hold is empty...
I'll WANK until I come!

We were quite fond of the word 'wank' at the time, as I seem to recall. We used to say it very loudly, in block capitals, at inopportune moments.

The most recent Little Boat of Happiness poem arrived recently, somewhat delayed due to the delicate situation regarding my Shiny New Husband and his right of abode in this country. Apparently, brother-in-law wanted to send this poem when the visa issue was at crisis point but my sister persuaded him to wait until my life was calmer when I would be able to take it in the light-hearted manner in which it was penned. And here it is:

The Little Boat of Happiness
has sailed back into view.
And while it makes its way to port
this is what we'll do...

A catalogue of many things
We'll write down in a list -
Of all the joys we hope it holds,
Perhaps some that we've missed.

Will it hold hugs and kisses
Enough for all to share?
A lover's sigh, a baby's cry,
the caress of a maiden's hair?

Perhaps a life of happiness
is what it holds for me -
A whirlwind trip around the world
and home in time for tea.

Now the boat has docked at last
and we can go aboard,
to see what joys are packed inside
As they are yours to hoard.

Alas! The hold is empty!
The walls are bare and plastered
The boat is only docking here.....
TO DEPORT THE AUSSIE BASTARD!

As you can see, B-in-L has all the sensitivity of a true poet!