Obsessive Dislike of Leonard

A dear friend of mine is in something of an emotional pickle, having fallen for someone who has the emotional maturity of a cucumber but the public persona of a charismatic, sensitive free-soul who cannot be bound by conventional 'relationships'. I received this e-mail from her today:

Dear Becky

I'm tired today because I stayed up very late last night listening to sad music and reading a novel of lost love and civil war. I was with my mum at the weekend. I told her everything and she let me play very miserable music, though she was tired of Leonard Cohen by the end, especially when I started singing along in an operative and gospel style. Try it, it's great fun! Anyway, for some reason, I've moved on to the anger stage; however, the anger is directed at Leonard. I thinkLeonard used the guise of being a poetic, gorgeous genius to behave appallingly to women, in somewhat the same way Mr X behaves. So, instead of being annoyed with Mr X, for whom I feel tender compassion, though the man is an eejit, I feel a cold fury towards Leonard. I'm aware this is unreasonable but take, if you will, the following lyric:

i loved you in the morning,
our kisses soft and warming
your hair upon the pillow
like a sleepy golden storm
yes, many loved before us
i know that we're not new
in cities and in forests
they smiled like me and you
but now it comes to distances [aye - and whose fault is that?]
and both of us must try [why, why must we try to make things easier for you]
your eyes are soft with sorrow [exactly!  not that you care]
hey that's no way to say goodbye [no, mustn't make a fuss and upset the genius, must we?]

I could go on, but I won't.  And take, for example, 'So Long, Marianne' and 'Love Came In'.
And I could name many others but am frankly too busy.  And he ran off for a few years to
become a Buddhist monk!  Typical! During which time he wrote about loving women but not
being able to give them what they need.  And how do I know this?  Because I read the
book of longing he wrote during that time, which was - wait for it - beside Mr X's bed.
I don't think we need to be a genius to see the connection.

And as for Tom Waits?  Don't get me started on him.  Have you listened to 'I hope I don't fall
in love with you'? Or Martha?  or Days of Roses?  Have you?  Have you?  And, moving on to
Damien Rice.  Have you listened to 'The Animals are Gone'?  Cads, the lot of them.  Oh, I know,
they're sensitive geniuses, with voices that can melt your insides, but they're emotionally
stunted eejits who use their artistic temperament to treat women appallingly because they
write beautifully about it.

I think you can see I'm moving on.

Love  Ms X

And it got me thinking.  She's probably right you know.  I always thought I'd like to shag
Leonard because (a) he's had a lot of practice at it and is probably quite good, and (b) he'd
be sure to write a lovely song about me afterwards.  But what sort of song?  An anguished
break-up, a relationship full of passion and anguish but ultimately unsustainable?
Or he might write one his mean songs (but not as mean as Elvis Costello - if I'd like
anyone to write a cuttingly cruel song about me, it would be him: 'She said she had been
working for the ABC news.  It was as much of the alphabet as she knew how to use'.  Classic).
Anyway, here's my reply:

My dear, I agree with you entirely.

'let's not talk of love or chains, or things we can't untie' - well,
firstly I'd like to know why he equates love with chains: chains, moreover,
which cannot be untied, when I'll bet my bottom dollar that he and his ilk
expend a great deal of emotional energy in attempting to untie every
emotional bond they form in their hapless existences.

I give you also:

Thanks for the trouble you took
from her eyes
I thought it was there for good
so I never tried.

Well, that's just charming, isn't it? Rely on someone else to heal the the
trouble that you probably caused in the first place, by being an emotional
feckwit of an eejit. It's all very well him going around touching people's
perfect body with his mind, but he doesn't seem to be able to follow
through in any emotionally mature or sustainable way. If that's the case,
he should keep his perfect mind to himself, dance himself to the end of
love with or without his burning violin. Shame on him.

Can we like Nick Cave instead?  He's a bit more thoughtful:

I don't believe in an interventionist god
but I know darling that you do
but if I did I would kneel down and ask him
not to intervene when it came to you
not to touch a hair on your head but leave you as you are
and if he felt he had to direct you
to direct you into my arms

Well that's much nicer - isn't it??

B

Apologies to anyone who is not familiar with the work of Leonard.  But seeing as Ms X is probably going
to hunt him down and kill him, there's probably not much point getting to know him now anyway.  Except
she wouldn't kill him, would she?  Because these men, cads though they be, can talk the talk.  She'll probably
end up humping him instead.