In the parallel universe...
... where I am still with Hugh, things are different - very different. My cough is worse because he still insists on chain-smoking in the flat - as a compromise he opens the balcony door to the sub-zero temperatures outside, thereby polluting my lungs with secondary smoke and freezing my tits off simultaneously. Later, he goes out for 'a quick drink' with his mates, promising to be back to make dinner for the two of us in an hour or so. Several hours - and many increasingly drunken phone calls - later, no dinner. Eventually, I take the phone off the hook, give up and go to bed. 4 am - he comes home, wakes me up and asks in an indignant and slurrying voice why I didn't answer the phone the last 3 times he called. Apparently, his mates wanted to say hello.
And then I wake up. And I'm here, with James. Still sick: only happy, smug, and married...
posted by Murphy at
8:43 PM
10 Comments:
Unfortunately I am still with the inconsiderate smoking bastard who
doesn't care that I can't breath!
I'll have a look on ebay and see if I can get you some sort of replacement... you obviously got a dodgy one before!
ah, i got quite nostalgic for hugh reading that! and his wonderfully evolved friends. oh, sweet swiss memories. watched a "docudrama" on the grounding of swissair yesterday - alone, as friends thought i was crazy and refused to have anything to do with it. cinema contained mainly swiss people. the three men in front of me were discussing swiss banking secrecy. wonderful!
If only I could have joined you for that, Julie - sounds fascinating!
Dontcha just miss the Pickwick pub and all of Hugh's wonderful friends? The chain-smoking, the male chauvinism, the constantly repetitive conversations (because they couldn't remember what they had said 5 mins ago), the wonderful beer they used to call "Swiss Piss", M Prince and his wonderful way with women? Don't you?
Once, they had a 2 hour conversation about the fact that rhino horns are made of matted rhino hair. Someone came up with this amazing - and true - fact, and then the conversation just went in circles like this:
'But you wouldn't think it was made from hair, would you?
'No, because it's very hard'
'That's because it's matted.
'That's right, rhino horns are actually made from matted hair'
'Yes, but you wouldn't think it was, would you?'
and so on, for many hours and many, many more pints of beer
I must say I think you made the wrong decision. I used to enjoy visiting you and being entertained by Hugh. Now it's just a chore.
Spammer says 'gnnrh' which is the noise you'd be making at 4am when awoken by drunken Hugh, perhaps?
Yes but one of Hugh's most redeeming features was the way he made the word 'potatoes' sound like a romantic poem.
I admit not a good enough reason to endure the rest of it - but it must have helped?
What is this wave of nostalgia for Hugh I seem to have triggered? YOU should all have tried living with him - it was a NIGHTMARE, I tell you!! I guess you guys only experienced the good stuff - the drinking sessions, the cooking, the lively and entertaining sense of humour, and, yes Sophie, he did have a nice way of pronouncing 'potatoes'.
But if it's okay with you lot, I'm going to keep James. He makes me feel like a princess and doesn't smoke all over me when I have pneumonia and he has never once come home and started a fight with me at 4 am. What more can a girl ask for?
Ok, you can keep him, as long as he says 'potatoes' occasionally
you see the thing is, becky, hugh was really comfortable to sleep on and never threatened to kill me.
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