Meet the Parents

James very bravely came back to Suffolk with me to Face the Family (they no longer think he is gay). We had a lovely day at the beach on Thursday with Meg and the kids - despite the rather dodgy weather we still managed a swim in the sea and James played an important role in helping the children to collect buckets of crabs (which got fed on bacon and then released back into the sea at the end of the day - not a bad life!).

Thursday evening was my Honorary Birthday Dinner and was a typical Williams family birthday meal. Highlights included:

- Mum's revelation that, with the help of a family friend, she destroyed my 'criminal record' before I joined the Foreign Office;

- Meg's revelation that Mark did the same thing with his ABH charge. Mum knew nothing about this aspect of her son-in-law's past ("What ABH charge?") and the revelation led to repeated questions from Robert (10): "What's ABH, daddy?";

- At both revelations, Sophie managed to either choke on her wine or laugh so hard it came out of her nose;

- Mum chastising James for not drinking fast enough, at which point he downed a full glass of wine, much to the amazement of Sam (8) who was sat opposite, with a big grin on his face, saying "Do it again, do it again!!!";

- Mum realising she probably should not have been drinking alcohol, given the incredibly strong pain-killers she was on.

- Mum saying to Megan as she was leaving "Please stay over next time. I like you when you're drunk!"

James and I had to retreat to the beach hut shed in the garden to have a nightcap and ponder the meaning of life. But he survived the evening, and, perhaps more worryingly, seemed to fit right in!!