My legs are weak, my eyes are old and bent...

I'm now 35. How on earth did that happen? Honestly, you turn your back for five minutes and all of a sudden you're thirty-bloody-five! I want my money back! I know my rights! I demand a refund!

But, being 35 has been pretty good so far. I spent the first minutes of my birthday in a pleasantly merry state on my way back from the Red Bull (where we had been for the Bogan Girl Challenge, which involved Virginia downing 4 pints of Wife-Beater followed by a kebab) before coming home and passing out unconscious (I'm an old lady now, can't handle my booze). James has been treating me like a princess all day - yes, like a hungover Princess who drinks copious amounts of tea. At the last glance, there were 5 empty mugs on my bedside table. You see, I spent most of the morning in bed, drinking the aforementioned tea, eating chocolate and watching The Simpsons. Then I got taken out for sushi. James bought me some shiny new shoes and a hamper of love and he made me a sparkley birthday card with lots of glitter on it. I think he is terrific. I don't mind being 35 when I've got a James to play with.