Michael Lonsdale comes to formal hall...

James: "So, Michael, do you think women should be allowed to vote?"
Michael: "Definitely not. But I do think they should be spanked."

And that's the way the evening continued, really...

Berne 

Everything hurts!

I spent this weekend in Berne, finishing off my life laundry, running races and having a second honeymoon with Simone. I ran the Grand Prix on Saturday - it's a 10 mile race through the prettiest parts of Berne featuring several hills, including the killer Rosengarten hill on the final stretch (ouch! why does Cambridge have to be so flat?). The sun came out two minutes before the race started and it was scorchingly hot for the whole ten miles. I could have kissed the many people who came out with hoses to cool us all down as we ran past! Got a pb for the race: 1 hour 28 mins. Pleased with the time but not so pleased with the agony in my muscles today - I feel like a very old lady and am in desperate need of a zimmer frame!

We came back to Wolfson to a lovely roast dinner cooked by Our Boys (having already been spoilt in the morning by a fantastic champagne breakfast lovingly prepared by Simon). Our Boys also fed us alcohol and cheesecake. Then they took us to the bar and fed us more alcohol. Sometimes I think they are the loveliest boys in the whole wide world.

The Ambassador was in the bar when Simone and I arrived on Friday night. At dinner on Saturday, he asked Simon Harkin if Simone and I were an item! I would be tempted but she's terrible in bed - she spent the whole night stealing the duvet, poking me and trying to cuddle me and I hardly got a moment's sleep...

Lazy Days

My academic life is grinding to a halt. There were no lectures to go to today, even if I had wanted to drag my arse over to the English Factulty (which I didn't!). And no supervisions either. I should be using this time to study Shakespeare's sonnets in great detail (we have to do an essay on them for next week on something to do with the language of desire being the same thing as the desire for language... answers in an e-mail please, everyone!). But I feel I deserve a lazy day, especially having paid my college bill (all £1042 of it) first thing this morning. I'm going into town this afternoon to try to find a job. Ouch. Why me? Lauri and James did suggest I hauled my body down to the American airbase with a big sign saying "Get It Here - 50p and Mars Bar" but I think I'd rather work in a shoe shop...

Sunshine and Lollipops

Friday and Saturday night were sedate after the over-celebration on Thursday. We were all nicely behaved and had early nights like good children.

On Sunday we cycled to Ralf's pub for lunch in the sunshine. Then we came back to Wolfson with a bottle of fizzy pop and spent the afternoon lazing on the lawn getting the Finn to perform gymnastics for us. James and Lauri (mature students that they are) had great fun throwing peanuts and trying to get them down my top. When I got home and undressed later that night, 2 peanuts fell out of my bra, so some of their aims must have been on target! Well done, them!

My Shakespeare essay this week was going to be on the construction of the tragic hero. My supervisor told me that under no circumstances must I mention the tragic flaw, so I've decided to do my essay on the staging of tragedies and call it "The Tragic Floor". Time to see if she has a sense of humour!

Exams seem to have gone well. Got a 2:1 for practical criticism and have had a "well done" (but no mark yet) for my medieval/renaissance paper, so it looks like I got away with it...

Exams are over!

I had my medieval/Renaissance exam yesterday and am now freeeeeeeeee from all responsibilities (except the odd Shakespeare and French essay - oh and a French exam later in the term). I'm not sure how I did - not brilliantly but hopefully not too appallingly either. It's so great to have it all out of the way so that I can concentrate on more important things like, running, beer and Monkey Dust.

I was kidnapped by aliens last night. They left me with a nasty headache and that feeling that all my blood has been replaced with dirty dishwater. What a mean thing for them to do to me when I was supposed to be celebrating the end of my exams...

What I did on my weekend...

[The censored version]

1. Beach party at Wolfson on Friday night. Behaved very nicely at all times. Drank lemonade, danced a waltz or two (no spanking on the dance floor) and went home for a hot cocoa and an early night. On my own. No gang bangs whatsoever.

2. Decided on Saturday that it was time for a de-tox having worked out James's alcohol consumption over the past week and realising I had been drinking alongside him for most of the time. Had a lazy Saturday, mostly spent lounging in Lauri's bed and watching DVDs.

3. Went for a pub lunch on Sunday (no beer! Good girl, Becky - woof! woof! doggie treat!!). Then went to see Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy with My Boys.

4. Long run on Sunday evening with The Finn. Did somewhere between 7 and 8 miles, half of it in the pouring rain through Grantchester meadows. Came back feeling fit, virtuous and starving and promptly scoffed one of James's All Day Breakfast Sandwiches, thereby cancelling out all the good things I had done for my body over the past 24 hours.

I have my Renaissance/Medieval exam on Thursday. Am in something of a panic. Panic is manifesting itself in strange dreams about my intellectual shortcomings. Dreamt 2 nights ago that everyone else apart from me knew that Measure for Measure was not written by Shakespeare, which was a shame considering I had just submitted an essay on it for my Shakespeare supervision. Am starting to have difficulties distinguishing dreams from reality!

One down, 2 to go!

We had our practical criticism exam today. Three and a half hours of pure joy (well, pure panic followed by pure drivel to be more honest). We are now off to the Red Bull to celebrate by drinking copious amounts of white wine and talking shite for hours on end. We're also going to straighten Ryan's hair!

Next Thursday we have our Medieval and Renaissance paper and then all we have to worry about is some silly French exam towards the end of term. Must start searching out muffin recipes!

Right! To the pub!

The Groovy Gang 

James's Birthday Cake 

And verily it came to pass...

Saturday night was the fancy dress celebrity party at Wolfson. I went as air hostess Britney, in an outfit I rather stupidly bought from Ann Summers. It was very short and muchos tit tape was required to prevent wardrobe malfunctions. Lauri went as the Pope (and won first prize!), James went as Our Lord Jesus Christ (complete with crown of thorns and bread rolls and tins of sardines), Ryan went as Dog, Bounty Hunter (although James told anyone who asked that he was dressed as a gay porn star) and Glen went as Monty Burns. The photo was taken at the beginning of the night, before the spankfest on the dance floor, when the Pope spanked Britney's arse and was later punished by being spanked by Jesus, much to the stress of Wolfson's more religious students. All quite disturbing.

Sunday was James's birthday - he is now an old, old man (and he felt extra ancient yesterday after the carnage of Saturday night). Simone, Sophie and I made him a breast cake, with strawberry jam and jelly babies as nipples. He is indeed a lucky man to have 3 such domesticated bitches!