Monday, May 29, 2006

2 down, 3 to go

I had my medieval exam today, in one of the tutor's offices in college. It's strange taking them on my own but after a battle with the examinations board over being allowed to take food/drink into the exam hall, it was the only option left. Despite the fact that I had a doctor's note saying I needed food and drink in the exam to prevent fainting, they said I could only take coffee or tea with me if I drank it at the back of the hall, and I could take a flapjack in with me but not a sandwich (hello? logic?). So instead, I'm taking them in college where I can take a vast array of food with me. I had considered preparing a 5 course banquet - you know, salmon canapees to start etc. Instead, I took rice crispie cakes (home-made with melted Mars bars - highly recommended), bananas and jelly babies. And, as usual, I forgot to eat until about 10 mins before the end of the exam when I started to feel dizzy. Ah well. At least this time I didn't spill my coffee everywhere.

Medieval exam was fine, despite all my worries. I remembered my quote: "The mooste partie of this peple that passeth on this erthe have thei worship in this world; they wilne no bettre; of oother hevene than here holde thei no tale." Let this be a lesson to us all, my friends! If only they had known how to spell properly in the Middle Ages, my revision would have been so much easier.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Words of Wisdom

I received this very supportive message from my medieval supervisor today:

"Greetings! And the very best of luck in Tripos. Think not of your own unease, but spare a thought for the poor examiners faced with the weight of your learning. Be confident: think how much you know now that you did not know a year ago ... I shall be thinking of you all. Charles"

The of my learning? Weight? I do pity the examiners, but not because my learning is a bit on the heavy side... if anything, it's positively anorexic!

There are fellow sufferers out there...

Someone found their way to my blog yesterday by doing a Yahoo search on "rhubarb phobia". See? I'm not the only one, after all. I'm seriously considering starting a support group...

Sunday, May 21, 2006

One little mystery is solved....

I have a site meter for this blog, which means I can see how many people have visited, roughly where they live and how they were referred to my site (eg through a google search). I've found out who my mystery Bangor reader is [waves! and says thank you very much for the sponsorship!] and now all I really want to know ... is the identity of my regular reader in Cairo! Who are you??? I'm amazed that my friends read these random musings at times, let alone complete strangers.

My first exam is on Friday. All I need to do is learn a whole load of very complicated French vocab for three 19th-century short stories and a 17th century tragedy, learn a bundle of quotes in aforementioned range of vocab and decide what I think about it all in order to write a deeply insightful essay or two, and I'll be sorted. Oh, and learn about the entire history of French poetry for a practical criticism essay. It'll be a doddle, so it will.

I promise that once exams are over, I'll get my life back and find something more interesting to write about. I may even get myself arrested for running round with my pants on my head, just for a laugh...

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Ook! Ook!

www.justgiving.com/gorillabecky


This one's going to be fun! Come and support me - free bananas for everyone!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The Green Notice-Boards of Doom

In Cambridge, they really like to make the whole exam process as painful as possible. Exam results, rather than being fed back to you through your Director of Studies, are posted on green noticeboards outside the Senate House for public perusal. Anyone who so desires gets to see your grade, often before you do. On results day, you have to fight your way through crowds of eager fellow students to see whether or not you have been publicly humiliated. Well, the boards are already up, staring at me accusingly every time I wander into town. I try to glare back at them but .... well, they scare me. Evil little feckers! It's almost enough to drive me to do some revision... I spent most of today with Henry V, so things really must be getting desperate. Less than a week and a half until exams start. If anyone wants to send me a cake, please feel free (especially if it has chocolate butter icing).

Slightly happier news: I have a breadmaker! Hurrah! The third loaf I baked tasted lovely (the first two were awful because I mis-read the recipe and used a tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon - not recommended, although James was very polite and ate it regardless). Also managed to set the delay timer incorrectly so that it beeped at us very loudly at 4 am - great for an insomniac like me who had only got to sleep at 2.30. Good times, my friends, good times.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Good Times, My Friend, Good Times


Nicola "Front Bottom" has just reminded me of a wonderful day we once spent at my little chalet in the mountains of Wallis in Switzerland. It was a rainy day, and some locals had turned up at our tiny village (which wasn't really a village, just a collection of ancient farming chalets on the side of the hill), had a wedding reception and then departed with not so much as a by your leave. We decided to hold a little wedding reception of our own, and managed to make these spectacular outfits from pillow cases and net curtains. Simple, yet effective.


Alas, the groom failed to show up, Nicola had far too much to drink in order to drown her sorrows and it all ended rather messily, as you can see.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Procrastination Idea Number 695

www.pimpmysnack.com - check out the "marathon&on". This could become a scary new hobby for me.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Procrastination Idea Number 694

www.angryalien.com

For 30 second versions of your favourite films, re-enacted by bunnies. I particularly like the Titanic one - infinitely better than the real thing, especially the Celine Dionesque warbling at the end. And the Jaws one actually made me jump!

Enjoy!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Julie's Trip to the Psychic

As I've been maintaining radio silence recently, here is another guest blog from Mad Irish Julie...

Layla, Mary and I went to see a psychic, called Deirdre, in Bray the
other night. Deirdre reports back what the spirits are telling her, and
she also reads your tarot cards. Perhaps unsurprisingly, my spririts
spent much of the time taking the p*ss out of me and making bawdy jokes.


The session began, somewhat unpromisingly, with the question: "who likes
Daniel O'Donnell?"

(For readers of an English disposition, D. O'Donnell is a crooner from
Donegal, who, while obviously gay, causes women of a certain age to have
naughty thoughts of getting up to no good with him in the confessional.
I'm always hoping they'll ban him as unrepresentative of modern Ireland,
but he's still strangely popular. They even offer tours to his house,
and I think you can meet him for a cup of tea.)

I don't actually know anyone who likes him, but then it's really not the
sort of thing one admits to.

The main points to emerge from the reading were:

She could see races, or attending races and that there was money to be
made in either betting or investments.
(does this woman not know I have to be sensible now I have a mortgage?)

> She said she could see some connection with Limerick and the Cliffs of
> Moher. Did I know people interested in moving there, or buying
> property around there?
(Part of my department is moving there, so I know lots of people moving
there.)

> Doves are important to me, and I'm going somewhere where there will be
> doves
> (really hope she didn't mean heaven.)
>
> Did I have any plans to go to Australia? She could see an opera house
> and a bridge opening up.
(Are there doves in australia? That would remove any worries about
heaven. Though it would have been worse if she'd suggested I was going
to go somewhere where there would be burning pits and unimaginable
tortures.)

> Do I know someone who's having treatment around their neck or throat?
(have had a vague fear of vampires recently, but don't think I know
any.)

> There's a wedding coming up, and it's as if I'm participating in it.
> She asked if I was free to get married, and said it was odd, as it
> looked as if I had a role in the wedding.
(no idea on that one, unless I'm going to make a scene at my brother's
wedding.)

> As if computers are important to me.
(?)

> She could see me visiting old churches, cathedrals and ruins.
(called zara and top shop?)

> She could see a connection with Scotland.
(my inner quarter scot is obviously stronger than I thought. And I do
like shortbread)

> My family history is interesting and it would be good for me to
> research it.
(I did have one ancestor who poisoned people, and I think we had a few
sheep rustlers, all in scotland. God only knows what we have in the
northern irish branch of the family. I'd rather not go there, to be
honest.)

> Rome is coming up.
(yipee!!)

> I'm going to be asked to stand for a child.
(all good)

> She can see a lot of travel and a lot of movement for me.
(fantastic, could do with the sun)

> Then she started laughing and asked me if I have two separate
> underwear drawers, for fancy and normal stuff. She laughed and said I
> should buy more fancy underwear, that I'd have a use for it, and that
> she'd leave it at that.
(how cool is that!! A psychic who tells you to buy fancy underwear!!
What a brilliant excuse!!)

> She could see a dress I haven't worn in a while. I'll wear it again.
(cambridge ball gown??)

> I have good taste in clothes, but are shoes a problem? She asked if I
> have difficulty getting shoes I like, or if I'm very particular, or if
> comfort is important.
(the only problem really is that there are so many shoes and not enough
money)

> Someone pinches or used to pinch me a lot - maybe on the other side.
(But who?)

> I'm going somewhere to ski.
(am I coming into money sometime soon?)

> I have a lovely selection of friends, but I'm careful who I bond with.
> I've a friend like a sister.
(aaaah, they're all great really)

> Are people going abroad to work? There's a sadness connected with
> that. Is someone trying to talk me into going abroad?
(I promise I wasn't wearing my work id card.)

> Am I patriotic? Not in a fundamentalist way, but she can see people I
> know being proud of ireland but also respectful of other countries.
> There's a fun around it. Something around this issue is important and
> to do with me.
(would that be representing ireland abroad? I'm not remotely patriotic,
but can ceili dance in swiss german)

> She can see a man with a large Adam's apple, for which he might
> require treatment. He has good bone structure. He likes to use
> ordinary hankies, not paper ones.
(can you get treatment for an adam's apple?? What on earth does it
involve?)

> Did I know I was a servant in Victorian times? That's why I've a
> thing about ironing. Do I like embroidery? I'm particular about
> seams and clothes. Quality is more important to me than price. I
> like things to be neat and tidy. I like having precious things around
> me, to make up for what I lost out on as a servant.
(that might explain my thing about corsets)

> I should be choosy around men. Respect is important to me. I can't
> be bought - money is irrelevant.
(indeed I can't. I'm very respectable)

> Next year will be better than this one. It will be more my year.
> This year is good, but I'm more supporting others. At this stage a
> spirit said, "she's still in service". I'll be using my intelligence,
> and opening up, in stronger ways. My brain will be expanding and it's
> positive.
(so get in all your requests this year)

> I have a dowsing ability, which I should use with food. I also have
> an ability to read the cards, and will be able to read playing cards
> too. However, I should be prepared for positive as well as negative
> results, and she thinks that's why she saw churches, because I could
> be touching the walls and sensing spirits.
(zara? Top shop? Vampires?)

> Do I have a summer home, or the use of one?
(do I look wealthier than I am??)

> She sees a man with a long face and high cheekbones. I should be
> careful for the next while. There are one or two she's not keen on
> around me. Someone makes me feel bad. I shouldn't go along with
> things to please people.
(he sounds like a vampire)

> I'm stronger than I think I am. Someone is trying to undermine me.
> They know my weak spots. It's unpleasant when they know I have other
> problems. Possibly a work situation?
(oh no, I work with vampires!! Bullying vampires!!!)

> I have to realise my strengths. The spirits then said, "sometimes our
> greatest weakness is our greatest strength." I should sit with the
> phrase and think about it. It's not just said. I should see what the
> universe gives and talk to friends.
(my weakness is buying shoes, unavailable men and drinking too much
wine. Are these really strengths? Fantastic!! What a wonderful
psychic!!)

> I've to stand up for myself. I'm not a servant anymore.
(indeed I am not)

> I'd be good with antiques - "especially as I used to clean them", said
> a spirit.
(quite)

> She sees a guy, "a shiney *rse". The spirits were joking about his
> shiny pants. He's very nice, but doesn't spend money on clothes. He
> has sex appeal, is clean and likes food. He's very talented and well
> spoken. He grins to one side of his mouth and his eyes are alive.
> He's nice - she likes him. He's caring and affectionate, and can
> joke, but not take a joke against him. He's very private. You'll be
> close, but then the shutters come down. He doesn't lie, but he's his
> own worst enemy. He's very sensitive. I shouldn't wrong him. If you
> do, you're out and there's no going back. There's a lady around him -
> a mother figure. She's sort of a dictator, or maybe he hasn't got
> over his mother.
(step forward, mr f-w)

> Financially I'd sort things out. I'd be better at managing things
> than I thought.
Great, great, but bear in mind, this woman seems to think I'm paris
hilton, with multiple underwear drawers, holiday homes and lots of
travel)

> March next year is important - she wouldn't be surprised if I was
> engaged or making a commitment by then. I'll be in control of a
> romantic situation and know where I'm going. I won't marry the wrong
> person. My heart will lead me in the right direction. The spritual
> path is important to me. The person I marry I knew in a previous
> life. She doesn't think I married him then. We were in love but
> couldn't marry. It remains to be seen if I know the person I'll
> marry. Keep an open mind. People will say we're like two peas in a
> pod. I'll know who it is by the end of the year.
(I wonder if he was the master in the house I was servant in. Also, I
wonder if I get to pick the person at midnight on new year's eve.)

> Children will be very much planned. I'll definitely have a girl.
> With the next one or two, a lot of thought will go into it. It will
> be according to how I'm planning my life. The second will either be
> very quick or put off. My daughter will be gifted as well. It's up
> to me re kids. The first could be quite soon.
(eek - becky, could you knit some pink booties when you've finished my
corset??)

> My guardian angel is there.
(laughing, making fun of my underwear and slagging me off for being a
servant. Fantastic.)

Layla was told, for the fourth time in five years by two psychics,
that she's having triplets, or twins and one soon after. She's also going to
by a dark man with a signet ring. She thought it
might be the floorer, so she dressed up for him and blushed when he
handed her the bill.

Mary was told she used to be a monk in a previous life, and that she's
going to marry twice and have five children. As mary's anti-divorce,
she's now praying one of her husbands will die.