Pass the sick-bag please!

We received our wedding pack from the Registry Office today. It contained a booklet of suggested readings for the wedding ceremony, which is the funniest thing I have read in ages. We sat in bed reading the poems and pissing ourselves laughing. Here is an example (and I'm REALLY hoping no-one who reads this has had this particular reading at their own wedding!!):

TOGETHERNESS

We'll walk together through the world today,
While dreams and songs and flowers bless our way,
I'll look into your eyes and hold your hand,
We'll walk together through the golden land.

We'll walk together through the world tonight
Beneath the starry skies ablaze with light,
And in your heart love's tender words I'll hide
We'll walk together through the eventide

We'll walk together through the passing years
Through days of cloud and sunshine, joy and tears,
and when the great call comes, the sunset gleams,
We'll walk together to the land of dreams.

We were thinking how great it would be to ask one of our friends to do a reading for us and then springing something like this on them on the day! Funnier still if we made them read one of the numerous poems with typos in (eg, "You find someone/who lives you for who you are, and not who you could be..").

James is now trying to adapt Satan's speech from Milton's Paradise Lost, so we can have that as a reading instead. It's far better than anything else in this booklet, believe me!