Easter Term Begins

Lectures start again today. It's going to be a tough start to the new term - one 11 o'clock lecture then nothing for the rest of the day! The supervision work, however, is starting to pile up: lots of Hamlet preparation and French versification work for a supervisor who achieved brief notoriety for having heartlessly mocked someone's scouse accent during an admissions interview (and then told her to read from T S Eliot, helpfully adding: "Don't worry about the squiggley bits, dear - they're Greek"). I'm going to be WELL Bexleyheath during his supervisions!

Plans for this term:

1. Sober up
2. Do some revision
3. Attend one or two lectures
4. Get hair cut
5. Bake multiple muffins for friends who are revising for exams (and for special friends who don't even have exams but quite like muffins). Deliver them to friends' rooms in whicker basket whilst wearing floral dress.
6. Become an expert kick-boxer
7. Buy a car off E-bay
8. Win at least £50,000 on premium bonds. Then:
9. Upgrade E-bay car to something more sexy
10. Go to the sea-side for an ice-cream

Right! I'm off to drink pre-lecture coffees in The Buttery now. May your Thursday be full of sunshine and fairy dust...

By special request.... 

Weebie and Ryan (plus hats) 

Kick-boxing Rocks!

Louise has been to visit for the weekend. To make up for the lack of children disturbing her sleep, I very helpfully snored very loudly all night and even got my Chinese neighbours to wake her up at 5 am by shouting very loudly in Mandarin. So she went home a very tired (and hungover) bunny today. Just like old times!

James and I had our first kick-boxing lesson today, having started to tire of conventional methods of maiming each other. I was at a slight disadvantage, already being bruised around the buttocks and the backs of my thighs from several spanking sessions last night (mainly involving a hockey stick and one of my shoes). Really enjoyed the lesson - once I got over my initial desire to giggle and run away, it all went rather swimmingly. I can't wait to get the boxing gloves. I think we have the potential to become world champions. Fantastic!

Now I have to spend the evening getting to know Milton's Satan. He's a bit like James, really (although he's probably not as good at kick-boxing).

My Favourite Man and Favourite Baby in Geneva 

My Favourite Man in Berne 

The World is Tiny

So there we were yesterday evening setting up the barbecue in the Wolfson gardens when who should walk past but Michael Lonsdale! "Michael Lonsdale", I hear most of you cry, "who the blinking flip is Michael Fecking Lonsdale?". Well, he's my old boss from Geneva, and something of an eccentric. He's good people. Haven't seen him in about 4 years, so it was very nice of Baby Jesus to arrange this surprise meeting. He's taking me out for lunch next week (Michael, that is, not Baby Jesus).

Today I will be mostly revising. It had to happen some time!

Enfin!

Finally sent off the French essay - well done, moi! It was probably a pile of merde but c'est la vie. She knew the risks when she took me on as a student.

Returned to Cambridge on Tuesday afternoon, straight to Emily and Jason's flat-warming dinner. Mo came back for the night and was such a sleepy little bunny rabbit that she had to be carried back to our love nest by a big strong Canadian (some girls have all the luck!). Yesterday was supposed to be dedicated to French essay, revision and food shopping but I somehow ended up spending it in the Red Bull with James. I matched him drink for drink - for every pint he had, I had a half. He then had to go and watch a film with his supervisor - he must have been delightful company. I stayed in Wolfson, sobered up and watched The Dukes of Hazard with Ryan and Lauri. Quality viewing.

So now all I have left to do is all the revision I should have been doing for the past 5 weeks. The endless pain endures...

ooh! and speaking of endless pain, James and I have decided to take up kick boxing next term. Can't wait! Am going to beat him to within an inch of his life.

SOS

Please, if anyone is reading this - help me. My name is Lauri, I am a peace-loving Finn and I have been kidnapped and held captive by a mentalist English woman. She keeps making me drink too much and is torturing me by talking incessantly and forcing me to make cups of tea against my will. I really can't go on like this but am afraid of the consequences if I am caught trying to escape. Please help me - I'll make it worth your while, really I will. You are my last hope. All I want is my old life back, a bit of peace and quiet and a brief stint in a Betty Ford Clinic. Please.

What I Have Been Doing on My Holidays

1. A 3 mile run with Carrie on Thursday night followed by an 8 mile run with Barbi on Friday morning. Obsessive, moi? Jamais...

2. Took the Finn to the zoo to see my beaver, followed by a trip to the bear pits. Beaver looking much more healthy and alert than the bears.

3. Took the Finn to Geneva. Were given a tour of the old town by Yves, then taken out for pizza, beer, wine, schnapps, beer and more beer (or, in my case - and in an amazing moment of clarity - lemonade) with other Genevois friends, Nasser and Vincent (photos to follow).

4. Spent this morning in Geneva buying Gifts of Great Joy (or, to be more precise (and honest), Gifts of Great Crap) for our Wolfson friends. Returned to Berne today to cook dinner for Carrie and nearly managed to set light to her kitchen in an unfortunate accident involving a roast chicken and an incorrect oven setting.

5. Tomorrow - hike followed by dinner in Hugh's restaurant.

WHAT I HAVE NOT BEEN DOING ON MY HOLIDAYS:

1. French essay. There is no hope for me. None whatsoever.

Back in der Schweiz

Arrived back in Berne yesterday to rapturous applause and a sophisticated dinner party (I made up the bit about applause - but some people were a little bit pleased to see me, only they hid it very well). Had dinner with Carrie, Martin & Barbi and Terry & Simon. Fizzy wine followed by red wine followed by whisky. Hangoverlicious. Had a great evening catching up with everyone, talking shite and making long lists of all the crap jobs we have done. Spent this morning doing life laundry, clearing all my stuff out of Hugh's flat. It was surprisingly pain-free. We sat and had a long talk followed by a big hug and it was great to see him so happy and in love. And I managed to get my book on how to make the perfect porn film - so many achievements in one day!

I think Ryan would have appreciated the view of the small patch of Canadian soil opposite Carrie's flat. A much prettier view than our own Embassy which looks like a cross between a junior school, a hospital and a mental institution (quite apt, considering the people who work there!).

Anyway, must dash: The Finn is due to arrive any second now!

The view from Carrie's balcony 

HA!

It turns out the French essay isn't late after all. It's not due in until the 14th! Had I read the French supervisor's e-mail, I would have known this for the past 3 weeks. But it's a rather pleasant surprise. Shall do it this afternoon - no, really I will - honest!

Am spending the morning in the Garden of Eden, revising Milton. Trying my best to be a good student today - will attempt to repress the evil twin until this evening. But I fear her powers are growing stronger by the day.

Hello people at the British Embassy Berne - I am now armed with English bacon, Red Leicester cheese and porridge oats! Look forward to seeing y'all tomorrow...

The Little Ones: Yael et Moi

The Little Ones

Bad Student

Every day since Mum and Dad's departure, plans to get on with my French essay have been overtaken by other events (many of them involving alcohol). I told myself yesterday that I'd definitely do it today, but somehow ended up having a pub lunch, an afternoon nap and a run instead. I am cursed by the God of Crap Willpower.

Can't wait for Wednesday when (a) essay will DEFINITELY have been completed and sent off; and (b) I will be in Switzerland. I really need a holiday because all the sleeping late, lazing around, going out boozing and general lack of anything resembling work here is really exhausting!

Mum and Dad  

Punters on the Cam 

Mutti und Pappi auf Urlaub!

Mum and Dad have been to stay for a few days. It was their first visit to Cambridge so we did the obligatory tour of the old colleges, plus a trip to Grantchester (for cake - still working away at the obesity thang - it requires a certain amount of dedication) and a trip to Ely to see the Cathedral. We went for dinner in Reach last night: Ryan and Lauri were brave enough to join us. Quote of the evening: Mum: "Does anyone SMOKE??". Or should it be the one line of a conversation between the two men on a neighbouring table that Mum overheard: "I admire your balls!".

I am not a well bunny today, thanks to nasty smelly boys passing on their evil flu bug germs. That's the thanks I get for the rhubarb crumble and roast chicken - that and a STOLEN bottle of wine (I'm gonna GETCHOO, James and Glen - you mark my words. Vengeance will be mine... ALL mine, do you hear me? Do you?).

Chalet Bob's village (Riedji) 

Chalet Bob  

Notalot to Report

The weekend didn't start too well, what with a rather brutal alien abduction on Friday night that left me dead to the world on Ryan's floor (and wearing his clothes - hmmm). Am still managing to do no revision whatsoever and the main displacement activity at the moment is cooking; I think we are all getting fatter by the day. Sophie came to stay, bringing with her the cupcakes of goodness and love (leaving us fatter still). Mum and Dad arrive this afternoon and will be here until Wednesday: they've never been to Cambridge before so are getting the usual two day tour which includes trips to the oldest colleges, Evensong at King's College Chapel, a trip to Ely and a walk to Grantchester for cakes, cakes and more cakes. So should be a big fat biffer in no time.

Cambridge is as pretty as a pretty place that has just won first place in a Pretty Place Competition: lots of blossom and spring flowers, and it is nearly time to sit by the river with a bottle of G and a bottle of T, watching the silly tourists fall off their punts. I keep thinking how pretty it must be at the chalet by now - am missing it but loving life here so much that I am not even a little bit homesick for Switzerland. But I'm putting a picture of Chalet Bob on here regardless...!